


No One Can Hurt You Now

by lestattitude



Category: The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: (its weed. they smoke weed), Age Regression, Coping Mechanisms, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, Multi, Non-Sexual Age Play, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recreational Drug Use, The actual ship will be mentioned in other chapters, anyways we love leo valdez in this fuckin chilis, astrophobia, autistic leo valdez, briefly mentioned sex, explicit discussion of child abuse, i :/ dont like the term "ageplay" for this but thats gonna be the most popular ao3 tag, i dont know how to write leo as allistic sorry lmao, leo makes it a big deal at first bc hes. yeah. stressed., sfw age regression, the first chapter is pre series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 08:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14870589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lestattitude/pseuds/lestattitude
Summary: Leo "I didn't deal with my childhood traumas and now look where it got me" ValdezAlternatively: the one where Leo regresses and his friends are supportive even though hes stubborn about not wanting anyone to know ever





	1. If your best friend isnt Piper idk what to tell you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends! So here's a headcanon I've been wanting to share for a while and approximately no one else agrees but thats okay 'cause I'm gonna write it anyways. This'll be updated pretty much whenever I feel like writing something for it and all the chapters do take place in the same universe!! Also, please excuse Leo being a drama queen for the first two chapters. He's just. embarassed. please hug him. This wasn't beta read either, so forgive me if there are any mistakes!
> 
> Also, there will be a ship at some point in future chapters- it won't be with Jason or Piper.
> 
> Also x2, I LOVE COMMENTS, PLEASE LEAVE THEM!!

The first one to find out was Piper. Unsurprisingly. Leo didn’t trust anyone else enough. He wasn’t comfortable with anyone else enough. Hell, when she found out, he didn’t even have anyone else to tell. Piper found out about this back in their Wilderness School days, when he slipped on a hiking trip. 

It was a hassle for him to tell her what was going on. 

The pockets of his beat up army jacket had wildflowers in them. Leo would stop and look at a bunch of flowers when they came upon them and stop to pick one, and he was trailing behind the rest of the group to do so. It wasn’t something Piper had ever seen him do before. She frowned, but didn’t mention it. Maybe they were for something. She brushed it off for the most part until she heard Coach Hedge scold him for it, to which Leo didn’t even reply, and when she turned around to look at him, he looked… choked up? _That_ was beyond unusual for him. 

He was stubborn and insistant when he said nothing was wrong and that he had no clue what she was talking about when she pointed out that he was acting weird. There was a sense of silent understanding regardless- Piper knew something was up, Leo knew she knew something was up. Piper got the message that Leo didn’t want to talk about it, and usually she didn’t push when when he didn’t want to talk about something (it wasn’t unusual for Leo to not like talking about how he felt), but it was really hard to not be concerned when she found Leo straying away from the group and under the assumption that he was trying to make a break for it, followed him, only to find that he was just absentmindedly following a rustle in the bushes. 

The childlike curiosity in his eyes made her suspicious under the circumstances. Piper led him back to the group and kept an eye on him. It was so strange for him to not draw any attention to himself, and even stranger for him to actively try to avoid being in the attention of anyone in the group. Whatever was going on, Leo didn’t want anyone to know about it. 

It took Piper a grand total of twenty minutes to think for a minute and get a semi solid idea of what might be going on.

At that point, Piper didn’t know about Leo’s past, but if he was in the wilderness school, that was enough for her to know that he was troubled, and she figured _this_ had something to do with it. 

Leo didn’t officially tell her until they were on a different field trip all together, and it started happening again. 

The class was out at the aquarium in Atlanta, a stop on their way to the Blue Ridge Parkway. It was a neat trip, even if aquatic life wasn’t usually Piper’s thing. The small class was split up into two groups, and Piper was with Leo, Coach Hedge, and four other kids. She found herself wishing the group was bigger because beside her, Leo was fidgeting with something in his pocket and shifting his gaze around uncomfortably, and she didn’t really feel like socking whichever smartass would notice and wanted to make a joke about it. There were a lot of different noises and a lot of different visuals, and that on top of probably not getting much sleep, she could deduce that he might be having a bad sensory day. 

Piper’s suspicions were confirmed when she found him clenching his jaw and trying to focus on one point in the shark tank. She remembered how he tended to do that when it was getting to be too much. 

“You good?” She couldn’t help but ask. Leo wordlessly nodded and delayed a little before walking along with the rest of the group. Piper walked behind him and watched as he slowed down his walking so she would get ahead. He was doing it again- not drawing attention to himself. She felt secondhand nervousness when she heard it get louder as they made it to the Cafe Aquaria area, and watched Leo grimace at the new set of voices, some of which being loud children. Part of her wanted to grab him by the arm and lead him away, but she knew better than to touch him right now. That was probably the last thing he needed. Instead, she caught up with Coach Hedge when the other students were preoccupied with getting food. 

“Hey, Hedge,” She started. Her chaperone glanced up at her in acknowledgement and nodded before looking over his own food options as he awaited her to continue.  
“Can me and Leo go find somewhere else to chill?”  
While Coach Hedge might be aggressive and a lot sometimes, he was actually a surprisingly understanding little guy, behind all the yelling and the baseball bat. Aware of Leo’s situation, he glanced over at his other student with a look of slight concern before looking back up at Piper and nodding. “Keep an eye on the time. Meet us back at the entrance at four.”  
“You got it. Thanks, Coach.” 

Leo picked at threads on his jacket and kept his gaze on the floor until he sat down in front of a tank of jellyfish.  
“Better?” Piper asked. Leo nodded.  
She noticed the look on his face, and connected the dots back to the hiking trip, where he had a similar expression. When she thought about it, as they sat there in silence, he tended to get… _like that_ after a bad sensory day, especially if he was in public. Is that what it was related to? God, it wasn’t any of her business, but she couldn’t stop worrying about it. Leo was her best friend, after all. She just… wanted him to be okay, and wanted to help him if he would just _let her._

Maybe it wasn’t that deep. Maybe his mind just got a little blank sometimes because it was doing too much. It was entirely possible that there was nothing to worry about and whatever it is, Leo had it completely handled in whatever way was working for him. Still, Piper found it hard to rest easy when she watched Leo looking more and more uncomfortable in his own skin. She never noticed this sequence before, but she now figured that it was because she hadn’t been paying enough attention, because she realized now that it wasn’t new. 

Sometimes, Piper wished she could spend the day in Leo’s body and Leo’s head. She just wanted to understand, and it was hard to entirely understand when she didn’t experience what Leo did in the _way_ Leo did. But god damn it, she was still going to try her very best. 

“Jellyfish are neat.” It was startling to hear Leo talk again. It pulled Piper right out of her thoughts. She looked over at him and found her best friend staring into the tank, with the same expression he had when he was following that rustle in the bushes. It sparked some kind of instinct in her that she recognized as vaguely maternal.  
“They are pretty neat.” She agreed. There was another short moment of silence before she spoke up again. “Leo, are you okay?”  
“Yeah.” It didn’t look like he even thought about that answer. It often didn’t. “I’m fine as hell. On a scale of one to ten, I’m a fuckin’ twelve.”  
“Right.” Piper wasn’t sure what answer she was expecting. For some reason, it felt foreign to her to hear Leo cursing right now. Like a three year old just walked up to her and said “fuck”. 

She watched as Leo got up and looked at another tank of a different kind of jellyfish. She stayed on the bench for a moment, before getting up to follow him with a sigh. According to a clock on the nearby wall, they had about an hour and a half before they had to head back to the entrance. In that hour and a half, Piper was determined to figure out what was up with Leo- you know, without being pushy or anything. Jeez, this was gonna be difficult. 

For the moment, it was okay to just stand back and let Leo look up at the tank that went over his head. He reached up like he wanted to touch it, only for Piper to gently guide his hand away by the wrist. “You can’t touch the glass.”  
“Why not?”  
“There’s a sign that says you can’t.”  
“Oh.” A dusting of red swept across Leo’s cheeks, and he looked embarrassed for a split second before clearing his throat and putting the pep back in his step. “Yup. There sure is a sign. Haha. Look who still needs to learn how to pay attention.” 

Leo laughed nervously, and she saw him starting to fidget again. If Leo wasn’t going to tell her anything, Piper was just going to have to try things and see what happened for answers. After a second’s consideration, she tentatively began to test the waters for some kind of hunch.  
“Wanna get something to eat, buddy?”  
Leo nodded, and the two began walking. After catching Leo walking astray again, Piper extended her arm to him and considered it a success when Leo actually held on to it, even if it was after several moment of hesitation and he wouldn’t look over at her when he did it. 

She was getting somewhere. Not very far, but it was something, and she was grateful for that. It added points to her leading theory, and that was pretty cool. 

Piper took care of getting the food after assigning Leo the role of finding somewhere to sit. 

Naturally, they took a spot as far away from everyone else as they could possibly get. Leo was getting food on his face, and moved away when Piper attempted to wipe it off with a napkin.  
“Piper,” He whined, with a lighthearted tone and an eye roll. “I’m not a kid.”  
“You sure about that one?” Piper retaliated without even thinking about it.  
Leo didn’t say anything. They both knew Piper wasn’t entirely joking.  
“...You can tell me anything, you know-”  
“I know, Pipes.”  
“Leo, I’m just-”  
Leo looked down at his lap and didn’t finish his food. He crossed his arms over his chest and hunched his shoulders in. Piper took that as meaning she had struck a chord, but it was unclear if she had struck the chord that she had been trying to play.  
God, she wished he would tell her what was going on. 

They were looking at a map of the displays minutes later, and Piper was desperately trying to lighten the mood a little, which felt foreign to her, since it was usually Leo who was doing that. But Leo looked far too distant. She offered to take him to see the penguins, and that seemed to cheer him up. 

It turned out there were no spots left for meeting penguins, and while Leo insisted it was fine, Piper would see he was disappointed and pouting over it. Couldn’t they meet seals too? That sounded fun. Piper really just didn’t want to see him upset anymore. Would they even have time, though? Upon looking at a clock again, Piper came to the conclusion that she didn’t want to risk running out of time. Instead, she found herself in a gift shop, with a stuffed penguin and a stuffed seal shoved into her backpack. The cool thing about tourists with obnoxious kids is that it made it immensely easier to steal, as the managers and security already had their hands full. 

Leo, on the other hand, was standing in front of the massive main tank, with the whale shark in it, a look of wonder over his generally mischievous features as he watched the huge shark swim around in the water with the other fish. She made her way to his side, and shot her a quizzical look when she slid him the penguin, and his gaze lingered for a moment.  
“It-you know, because we couldn’t go see the real penguins.”  
But Leo wasn’t stupid. He might not be the most socially aware person at the best times, but Piper was someone he had learned to read. Piper knew she wasn’t being very discreet either. Leo took the stuffed toy and Piper finally saw it- the crack in his composure. It made him look like a scared child who had lost his parents at an amusement park. She instinctively grabbed him by the arm and led him off. She found a family bathroom, and dragged him in it after making sure there were no onlookers who might think they were just rambunctious teenagers who were trying to do something nefarious. 

Seconds later, she had her best friend in her arms and he was shaking.  
“It’s okay.” Piper attempted to reassure him. “Let it out, Leo.”  
When she met his eyes for a brief second, tears were spilling out faster than he could stop them. He wasn’t a loud crier. When Leo cried, he struggled to let himself let out even a choked sob. Piper rubbed his back while he sniffled.  
“Please let yourself cry. It’s good for you.”  
A few small sobs escaped her distressed friend, but that was it. Piper guided him to sit down next to her on the floor, and watched as he clutched the penguin tightly. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders.  
“Wanna tell me what’s up now?” She asked once Leo seemed a little calmer. It broke her heart to see him so upset. Leo was upbeat, Leo made the most of bad situations, Leo went out of his way to cheer up anyone who looked sad, and yet here he was, crying in the bathroom of the Georgia Aquarium, holding a stuffed penguin toy with one hand and the other occupied with having its fingers chewed on while he struggled to find a reaction to Piper’s question. He was thinking about how to answer that.  
“You can tell me the truth, Leo. I promise.”  
No answer.  
“Pinky promise.” Piper extended her pinky. Leo stared at it, and linked his thin pinky finger with hers. Thankfully, with the hand he wasn’t chewing on. 

“Get your finger out of your mouth, you nasty. Your fingers are dirty.”  
“Need something to chew on.” He mumbled. Right. Oral fixation.  
“Wash your hands, then. The sink is right there.”  
Leo did as he was told, and got up to wash his hands. He took his spot on the floor back when he was done and drew his knees to his chest, staring down at the floor like it was a board of equations he was figuring out, with his now clean index finger in his mouth. Piper didn’t rush him. As badly as she wanted to know what was up with him, she still respected that it was hard for him to open up, and if he was about to finally tell her, it was a big deal for him. 

“How did you know?” He mumbled. Piper stared at him, confused. How did she…? Know _what?_ She shook her head.  
“I don’t know anything for certain, dude.”  
“You don’t? I thought it was obvious- I, oh. Shit. Okay.”  
“I’ve been trying to figure it out this whole damn time. I think I know, I just need to hear you say it, and I need you to _talk to me._ I want to help you, Leo. You know that.” Piper was pretty much begging him at this point. It was beyond her why he would think whatever this was was “obvious.” 

Leo looked like he was going to cry again. He had already broken his composure once, and it didn’t look like he wanted to again.  
“Cry if you have to. I don’t mind.”  
“I don’t want to.” He sounded frustrated with himself. “If I keep crying, I’ll feel it more.”  
“Feel _what_ more?” 

Leo held on to the penguin tighter, and a few tears slipped down his cheeks again. She noticed that the light dusting of freckles he got when he spent a lot of time in the sun was starting to come back across his nose and cheeks. Seeing his face wet with tears and dripping with what could only be described as absolute humiliation and anger at himself. 

“I-I don’t want to say if if you think you know what it is anyways.” 

This was getting frustrating, but Piper was willing to be patient. If it was what she was really, really starting to think it was, she could understand why he would be in such a state of distress. 

“I won’t know for sure until you tell me what it is and how I can help you.”  
“You can’t help. It’s not just gonna go away.”  
“I know it won’t, Leo. I’m not trying to make it go away.” Her frustration slipped into her tone, and she saw Leo immediately tense up again. Piper got it. He was already in a heightened state of anxiety, he was already stressed out, he was having a bad day, and if he was doing what she thought he was doing, he definitely didn’t need to be yelled at or pushed. There was a knock on the door, and Leo flinched before getting up and splashing water on his face. Piper followed him out, and didn’t look at any of the people outside of the bathroom. She felt awful, but she was about 98% certain she had been right about the problem he had. 

Leo stood an arms length away from her, hunched in on himself. She looked at a clock when they passed one, and then sat down on a bench next to a cuttlefish display. “We have 45 minutes before we have to go.” She said as Leo sat next to her. “I’m sorry. About snapping at you in there. I just-”  
“No, I’m just… being difficult. I get it. Don’t worry about it.” Leo huffed as he looked down at the penguin.  
Piper thought for a moment, and came up with a plan.  
“Leo, I got another one for you in my bag.” At that, Leo seemed interested.  
“You only get it if you tell me what’s going on.” Good ol’ fashion bribery. Leo pouted at that.  
“No fair.” He crossed his arms. Piper led him over to look at the squids, and rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. He seemed to be done with his little freak out, so she assumed he would say something sooner or later. “Pretty please?” Piper asked. She didn’t turn on that persuasiveness she tended to have. It didn’t feel right to use that on Leo to get an answer out of him. 

Leo hesitated. “I don’t feel like a big kid sometimes.” 

Oh my fucking god, how easily he said that was almost infuriating after all that emotional mess they just went through. That was the most shocking thing here. Piper had pretty much expected an answer along those lines. Still, true to her promise, she got the fat stuffed seal from her bag and handed it to a much more comfortable Leo.  
“Feel better to finally say it?” She kept her tone level. Leo looked like he didn’t even know what to do with her genuinely not minding his confession.  
“I- you don’t even-”  
“Care? Yeah, I don’t care. I mean, I do care, but I don’t mind it. You know what I mean. I just wish you would have actually told me sooner. You know, keeping everything bottled up all the time like that isn’t good for ya.” 

Leo bowed his head in shame. “I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be sorry, Leo.” Piper moved her hand from his shoulder to his back. “It’s not an easy thing to admit. Have you ever talked to anyone about it? Has no one ever told you that it’s okay?”  
“No. I had a therapist bring it up once but I didn’t talk to him about it. I hear about people doing it online, but…”  
“Well, I think it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with you, Leo.” Piper assured him. “Give me a code word for when you feel like that. I got you covered. I’ll release my inner teen mom.”  
Leo laughed at that, and thought for a moment about his code word. He looked down at the seal.  
“Seal. ‘Cause you bribed me with a seal stuffie to get me to tell you.”  
“Seal it is. Wanna start heading back to the entrance? We can look at the tanks and stuff on the way.”


	2. stupid storms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW so the first chapter of this was surprisingly well received so?? Heres another chapter!! warning yall now but my updates will be INCREDIBLY inconsistent sooo yeah sorry. Next chapter will introduce the romantic relationship, but if you look at literally any of my other works, I only seem to write one ship so if you don't want that spoiled then don't go check out the rest of my works lmao. (Except I really need more reads and feedback on my last work hh)

Jason found out on accident. 

One night on the Argo II. Leo liked to schedule the night shifts with Piper for a reason. During the day, there was no time for his… habit. There never really was time, but he could let himself go and drop into Seal-mode for an hour or so at a time, with Piper watching to make sure nothing happened. So far, it hadn’t interfered with anything important. Nothing bad had happened, and a monster only made an appearance in the middle of it once, which was not fun to say the very least. 

Piper was great. She knew what to do by now. As soon as Leo would mutter “seal”, she would be there in seconds with a coloring book, markers and crayons (all mixed oh so neatly in a plastic box) and his stuffed animals. All four of them, because Leo didn’t like to feel like one of them was being left out. 

Tonight, it was storming. Normal Leo hated storms, they reminded him of those times where the supercells would hit Huston and the panic he felt when he had nowhere to take shelter as the tornado sirens blared. Regressed Leo was, needless to say, _terrified_ of storms. As soon as the thunder clapped, Leo felt the panic tightening up in his chest and yelped, accidentally breaking the crayon he was using to fill in a bird in his animal coloring book. Piper was at his side in seconds, wrapping his favorite blanket around him as he gathered his penguin, his seal, his lizard, and his dragon all in his lap. 

“It’s okay,” She spoke in a soft, soothing voice as Leo nested into the blanket, plugging his ears when he heard the thunder again and allowing the tears to start falling down his face. “Want something to chew on?” She asked, to which Leo nodded. His bottom lip was quivering, and Piper got up to get him some sort of chew stim toy. He didn’t _only_ use them when he was regressing, but he used them most openly when he was regressing.  
“Do you want the robot, the ring or the pacifier?” She asked as she held out the three options to him, so he could take what he wanted in case he didn’t feel like he could use words tonight. Words really couldn’t describe how much Leo appreciated her and how understanding she was. He took the pacifier this time- that was the only one that was exclusive only to this headspace. It made him really sink into his regression, but he needed that right now. He jammed it into his mouth and sniffled as he chewed, squeaking when he heard the familiar crack of lightning. 

Little kid Leo was only worried about the scary storm, but big kid Piper knew that she should be on the lookout for Venti. It wasn’t an easy task to calm Leo down while still watching and listening for the storm monsters. Nearly impossible, really. 

“Leo, will you be okay to wait here for a minute?” She asked. Leo nodded, and hid himself in the blanket. 

He listened to the sound of Piper walking, messing around with things, and not coming back. Where was Piper going? Was she just leaving him? When was she going to be back? Leo cried harder. He heard running and loud noises outside mixed with the thunder and was thoroughly freaked out. On top of that, he heard shouting, and it wasn’t just Piper anymore. 

Piper had figured out quickly that someone else had to be out here. She couldn’t fight multiple storm spirits singlehandedly, and even if she could, she wanted to make quick work of it. Jason was the first one she could reach, and he jumped up quickly to help out, and together they had it covered. Jason didn’t go without noticing that Piper was distracted, though. 

“Something up?” The blond asked, as Piper caught her breath and sheathed her dagger.  
“No. Just tired.” She answered, as she began in the direction of the engine room, only to remember that Jason was going to follow her, and she didn’t want to put Leo in a bad position. He was probably already in a pretty bad place, she figured. Introducing someone new into their secret would be too much right now. Hell, she didn’t know if Leo ever wanted anyone else to know.  
She would have to make this exchange with Jason quick. Unfortunately, it didn’t look like he’d be making it easy. 

“Isn’t Leo supposed to be out here?”

Of course. Because why _wouldn’t_ he ask that right now? 

“Leo was getting sick.” She answered shortly, figuring it would be a convincing enough response. “Probably not in the best shape to fight right now.”  
Jason took the bait, but Piper learned a little too late that he should have just said something along the lines of “Leo fell asleep”, because Jason immediately started with the worried interrogating.  
“Sick? He never gets sick. Is he okay?”  
“Yes.”  
“What kind of sick? Is he still awake? I have some medical training. I could probably help, if you need to go to bed.” Jason looked so genuinely worried. Objectively, Piper knew that if anyone where to find out about this, she (and Leo, she figured) would rather it be Jason than anyone else on the ship, but regardless, it was up to Leo if he wanted the son of Jupiter to know. Otherwise, she would take it to her grave. 

“Leo is fine, don’t worry, I got it under control.” She assured her boyfriend, dripping a little bit of charmspeak into her tone as she rested a hand on his arm. Jason fell for it initially, but then narrowed his eyes. Fuck, Piper thought.  
“Can I see him?” 

Jason sounded suspicious, and rightfully so. Piper had no idea what to do or say. She had no reason to say no that Jason couldn’t easily argue. She found herself wishing she had a little bit of a better grasp on her charmspeak right now, but man, she was tired and it just wasn’t clicking. The silence didn’t help. Jason walked closer to the engine room and there was an undeniable sound of crying. Panicked sobbing, really. Jason shot her a look, and Piper opened her mouth to say something, but what could she say? What was there for her to say right now? She was fucked. Leo was fucked. Jason was gonna get answers and there was nothing she could do about it at this point. 

“Please don’t, Jason.” Her tone softened and got more serious at the same time.  
“Why?” He asked.  
“Just… don’t.”  
“Piper, he’s our captain and one of my best friends, I need to know what’s wrong if he’s in there _sobbing_ like that.” 

His heart was in the right place and Piper could appreciate that, but he didn’t seem to get it. He didn’t understand that it was a very private matter, and Piper didn’t know how to tell him that it was a very private matter without it sounding even more suspicious. She was tired and had a panicking Leo to take care of.  
“Please just let me handle this.” Piper sighed. Jason didn’t budge.  
“Okay, compromise,” She thought for a moment and then met his eyes again. “Give me and Leo a second.” 

That answer seemed to satisfy Jason enough. He leaned against the wall where he stood and Piper turned to the engine room. She entered and ran to the blanket where a huddled Leo remained in a panicked state. He had all his stuffed animals clutched close to him and the peeked his head out of the blanket when he felt Piper sitting next to him.  
“Hey, little man,” Piper started. “Sorry about that. I’m here now, okay? Can you breathe for me?” She held a hand out, waiting for Leo nod to indicate that she could touch him. Leo did nod, wiping his eyes on his arm. He was still crying and panicking. It wasn’t anything Piper hadn’t helped him through before. He didn’t seem inconsolable this time, and that was good enough for her. She rubbed his back and counted to six for him as he took a breath in, and then to seven on the next one, and then to eight on the next one. By the time he got through that breathing pattern twice, he was starting to get calmer. 

Piper continued to rub his back. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. The mean ol’ storm spirits are gone, and it’s only raining now. You’re safe here, Leo. I promise. Pinky promise.”  
He leaned his head against her shoulder. Piper approached the next topic with a gentler tone.  
“Leo, Jason is worried about you. He heard you crying.”  
He tensed up as quickly as he relaxed and widened his eyes, looking up at Piper.  
“He knows something is up. I really tried to get him to go away, I really did, but he’s really worried.”  
Leo shook his head and started to tear up again, like he already knew what she was going to ask. This sure was a sticky situation. Piper glanced nervously at the door. She heard steps. Shit. Shit! 

There was a knock. Triple shit.  
“Leo?” She heard Jason say through the door. “Are you okay in there?” 

Leo stared at the door. He opened his mouth like he was going to say “Yes” and get him to go away, but nothing came out. 

The next second, the door was opening. Piper shot up to keep Jason in the door area. 

“What is he doing in here if he’s sick? We have an infirmary.” Jason looked over Piper’s shoulder, spotting Leo over where he had made his little blanket nest on the floor. Leo looked like a deer in the headlights, and Jason was at a loss for words, with confusion etched all over his features. 

Piper glanced between both of them with a defeated expression. There was officially no excuse Piper could make for this. There was no getting out of this situation when Jason was right there and seeing it. Jason began to approach the frightened boy, and Piper reached out to stop him. Instead, Piper sat down next to him. Jason softened when he saw how petrified Leo looked. Wow, he… should have listened. 

“Wanna let Jason come sit down with us.” She whispered to Leo. What other choice did Leo have? He nodded with hesitation. 

He didn’t say a word while Piper explained what was going on. He simply nodded along to confirm what she was saying. Jason listened intently, coming to a slow understanding, occasionally looking at Leo while he idly chewed on the rubber end of his pacifier and rolled a Hot Wheels on his leg. Silent tears were streaming down his face by the time Piper was done explaining. He refused to look at Jason, who moved to sit right in front of him. 

“Hey, it’s okay, buddy,” Jason spoke with a careful tone. “I don’t really know anything about all this, so you gotta help me out a little.”  
Leo still didn’t say anything.  
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Leo this quiet.” Jason turned to Piper when he said that. Piper half smiled. “He gets quieter like this. Not all the time, though. He can be pretty rambunctious. He’s generally pretty well behaved though, actually. Tends to do his own thing. He’s also just had a bad night.”  
“...So he compensates by being obnoxious when he’s in his normal headspace.”  
That made Leo giggle a little. In turn, Jason smiled. “That’s more like it.”  
“Not that he _can’t_ be a little booger sometimes.” Piper snorted as Leo pouted. “Uh huh, that’s right, Mr. ‘builds a lego fortress around me when I’m asleep and steals candy’. I’m lookin’ at you. Don’t get pouty.” 

There was silence for a moment before Jason broke it.  
“So. Am I allowed to be in on this now? Must be hard being a single parent, Pipes.” 

Piper chuckled, and looked to Leo for an answer. He nodded, after a few moments of consideration. 

“Awesome. So,” Jason ruffled Leo’s hair. “I think someone needs to go to bed.”  
Leo’s yawn confirmed that statement. He really had worn himself out.


	3. There's a part I can't tell...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR A WHILE. I have no excuse other than playing too much Toontown Rewritten and watching Kitchen Nightmares instead of writing. Anyways, we finally get to a ship, and I'm sure approximately no one is surprised at my choice because valdangelo will always reign supreme to me. And it's like the only ship I write so.... yeah. I promise this chapter does have some regression content at the end but it's mostly boyfriends talking about their feelings.
> 
> **BIG TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: explicit mentions of physical and emotional child abuse, and implied reference to sexual abuse. Also, they smoke pot, for anyone who's bothered by that.**

“You have to tell him.” 

Piper was right. Leo knew Piper was right. She was really good at being right. But Leo still wished she wasn’t totally and completely right. Leo still shook his head. 

“I can’t. He’s gonna be weirded out and-”  
“If he loves you, no he won’t.” 

Leo hated that answer. He let out a frustrated huff and kicked a spare bolt that was on the ground.   
“I don’t think that’s necessarily true.” He argued. “I mean, he didn’t know about it when he got in a relationship with me and maybe if he did know, he wouldn’t have. Does that make sense? I mean, it’s not like everyone can just handle stuff like that with no problem. We can’t all be you and Jason.”  
The fact that Piper had to stop and consider this brought on a sense of satisfaction. He continued to drive in his point.   
“And plus, he grew up when it wasn’t even okay to be gay or anything. I doubt he even knows stuff like this exist, much less that it’s like, a thing that isn’t completely wrong and terrible.”   
Again, Piper didn’t seem to have much of a retaliation for a minute. Aha, finally, Leo was the right one.  
“You still need to tell him.” She finally said. “And if he can’t handle it, you need to find someone who can.” That wasn’t even in the question for Leo. He’d been with the son of Hades for months. They had everything going for them. No one had ever made Leo feel so… loved, and warm and like he _meant_ something. Like he couldn’t be easily replaced. He made Leo’s heart pound and his stomach flutter and his brain get all mushy.   
Leo loved him, and he was confident Nico di Angelo really did love him too. He didn’t want to ruin it with this. He was terrified of ruining it enough as is. 

Leo shook his head. “We have a good thing going. I’m really not tryin’ to fuck that up now.”   
“A good thing… except for the fact that you never tell him anything, Leo.” God damn Piper and being right again. “He literally came to _me_ asking if you were okay because you never want to tell him. _He cares about you._ He wants to know what’s going on.” 

Nico asked Piper? Leo started to be angry that he wasn’t just asked directly, but he knew that asking him directly probably wouldn’t have gotten him anywhere. Nico caught on to things like that pretty quick, huh? Leo felt a little pit of guilt in his stomach. All Nico wanted to do was be a good boyfriend and help him and Leo didn’t know what to do other than push him away.   
“Please talk to him, Leo.” Piper continued. “Maybe you don’t have to tell him everything at once, but… at least let him in a little.” 

His lips pulled into a thin line as Piper stopped walking, leaving Leo to enter his bunker alone. Neither of them said anything. Piper walked away and Leo shut the door of Bunker 9. He had a lot to think about. 

\---

After a good few hours of just being down there, alone with his thoughts, Leo had managed to create a small automaton bug thing. He wasn’t even sure what kind of bug it was, it was just a product of Leo needing something to do with his hands while he did something he didn’t usually do: thinking. Long, hard thinking. It felt weird to actually address all the thoughts he had. But, even Leo knew that he had to do it sometimes. More often than not, he found it not as scary as he expected. Messy, yes. Emotional, yes. Even so, he was getting better at rationalizing all those thoughts and feelings of his. 

He was pulled out of his own head when he heard a knock, and went to go see who was bangin’ his door and what they wanted, interrupting his self-therapy session like that. 

The annoyance went away when the door opened to reveal Nico di Angelo himself, in the flesh, looking just as supernaturally beautiful as ever, even though he looked like he just rolled out of bed. Leo looked up to meet his gaze. (Jeez, he seemed a solid inch taller with every passing month. He was growing like a weed, while Leo had been consistently stuck at five feet and six inches while standing up really straight with shoes on.)   
Nico had this look in those striking onyx eyes, like he was trying to figure out a puzzle.   
“Piper said we should talk.” He started, and Leo felt his shoulders stiffen. Son of a bitch. He stepped aside to let Nico in, and so he did come in, following Leo to where he had a futon set up. There was silence. Not the usual comfortable silence. Leo hated it.   
“It’s nothing bad, if that’s what you were thinking.” Leo broke the silence. With that being said, Nico seemed to relax a little, but took on a more confused expression when Leo kept talking. “I mean, like, it’s not ‘I’m breaking up with you’ bad. I don’t actually know if you’re gonna think anything about any of this is bad, but…”  
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. What you’re saying, I mean.” Nico nodded along, as if to encourage Leo to actually get on with whatever it was. 

Leo was cornered now. He had to talk. He rubbed his face a little. 

“Jeez. I didn’t actually tell Piper to send you down or anything. She’s been… I, uh-” Leo paused as his brain struggled to find the right words. Thankfully, Nico was pretty darn helpful.   
“But there’s something we should talk about?” He offered.   
“I guess.”   
Nico nodded at that. He reached over and took Leo’s hands, and Leo felt instantly comforted by the feeling of cold skin and a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t know where to start?” Nico asked, to which Leo nodded, scooting closer and letting Nico move one of his hands from Leo’s grip and around his shoulders instead, which made the son of Hephaestus smile a little bit, especially when he remembered how awkward they both used to be about affection. Now, it just happened naturally.   
“It’s okay.”   
Leo reached for the chewy pendant that he wore on a necklace. He idly chewed while he thought of what to say. Finally, he found a suitable starting point.   
“I’m sorry I’m not super open. About my feelings and stuff.” Leo mumbled, clearing his throat before talking again. “You’re like, a really good fuckin’ boyfriend and I keep shutting you out and it isn’t cool and I’m sorry.”   
He watched Nico for a reaction.   
“Yeah. I mean, I forgive you. I don’t blame you, really. You’ve been through it with the war and stuff. And I figured you just had a hard time articulating it. I remember you told me once that you sometimes didn’t know how to put things into words. And I started to think… I don’t really know anything about your past.” Nico took on a more weary tone. “You never want to talk about it and that makes me think that something… bad happened. If you aren’t ready to tell me, I understand, but I just…” Nico sighed. “I want to help you and I want to know what’s wong. You’re always there at the drop of a hat whenever I’m off moping in my cabin and you know everything about me, and I feel like it isn’t _fair._ I almost feel like you don’t trust me.” 

Leo listened, even if it was hard.

“I trust you. Just gonna go ahead and say that.” Leo clarified, before tackling the rest of that. “You’re right. About my past and stuff. It wasn’t good.” Those words felt sour coming out of his mouth. He hated it. “At all. And not even demigod reasons. I mean, there was a demigod-related reason that started all of it, but then it went to shit all on it’s own, no godly interference necessary.” A bitter snicker. “It’s not really… easy. To talk about. I’m okay with you knowing, I just know I’m gonna cry and stuff and it’s not gonna be fun and I just don’t- I don’t wanna be a burden with all my emotional baggage. ‘Cause there's a lot of it. Like, they won’t allow that much baggage on the plane.” 

The little joke at the end made both boys chuckle. Still, Leo felt the knot in his stomach. Nico got them back on track. He tightened the arm around Leo’s shoulders in an almost protective manner.   
“ _Il mio amore,_ you could never be a burden. I don’t want you to _ever_ think that. Look at me,” Nico guided him by the chin to face him. “I want to help you. One hundred percent. I know you have problems and I know you’ve been through shit. I do too, and you still love me, right?”   
“Absolutely correct.”   
“And I still love you, baggage and all.” 

It took a moment for that to sink in. Accepting the fact that this boy right here next to him genuinely loved him was… not easy. It was just unbelievable. Nico di Angelo, the strongest person he knew, an absolute powerhouse, master swordsman, Ambassador of Pluto, Underworld royalty, who survived Tartarus alone and managed to work through his problems and blossom into such a beautiful, amazing person and the best boyfriend Leo could ever ask for… and he was looking at Leo with nothing but love, like he was the most special thing in the universe. What did he ever do to deserve this? Leo didn’t realize he was starting to get choked up until Nico rested a hand on his jaw, and stroked his cheek with his thumb. “We don’t have to talk about it right now, Leo. Just… whenever you’re ready.” 

“If I don’t talk about it now, I already know I’m not going to ever.” Leo admitted, knowing himself well enough to be able to say that with decent confidence. “God damn it, uh,” The words just weren’t stringing together. “My mom died. You know that.” Nico nodded along, dropping his hand from Leo’s cheek and wrapping it around his shoulders once again. The physical affection, when it came from Nico, sank him into a safe feeling. “I didn’t have my dad, obviously. So they sent me to my aunt. Rosa. And my cousin. They… weren’t the nicest people. Raphael was just an asshole who stole my toys and called me names, but Rosa was the actual fucking worst.” Just the name made Leo feel a flame of rage in his stomach. He scowled as he continued. “She used to call me _el diablo_ and told me it was my fault mama died. I believed her for a long time, too. I-I mean, I was just a kid, what else was I supposed to believe?” 

“Oh, don’t worry, babe, I ain’t done,” Leo said as he caught a glimpse of the horrified look in Nico’s eyes. “I tried telling her that it was the face in the dirt, and of course, that just made her think I was crazy. She told a social worker that she didn’t want to take care of her sister’s basket case fucking son. She called me a lot of shit I really don’t like to repeat. A lot of real ableist shit. I told her that she was being unfair to me once and she slapped the shit out of me.”   
If Nico looked horrified before, he looked murderous now.   
“So that’s why you ran away?” He asked. Leo noticed his clenched jaw, and a look in his eyes that might have suggested the forming of some evil plot.   
“Not exactly. I didn’t run away from her, she put me in foster care. My grand total was six that I ran away from, and one that I was removed from, which was the first one. I got sent to the Wilderness School after running away for a sixth time.”

This was the part he didn’t like telling. This was where the story got ugly. He wanted to just keep it there. He didn’t want to say anything else. The only person who had any idea was Piper, and even she didn’t know specifically what happened in some of those homes.   
In retrospect, Leo should have expected this next question.   
“What happened in the first one?” Nico asked, voice hesitant, like he was ready to retract that the second after he said it.   
Immediately, Leo tensed, and felt on edge. His skin prickled, starting at his chest, moving down his torso. Down, _down,_ _**down.**_ When had he started to space out? It was coming again. When had his breathing gotten so shallow? When had he twisted two metal wires together and bent and bent them until they seemed to just be a ball? _When did the hot tears start streaming down his cheeks? When did his body start feeling like it wasn’t his own?_

“Leo? Leo,” The sound of a hushed, yet firm voice got through to his mind. Two cold hands rested themselves on Leo’s shaking warm ones. He was pulled back to the present, only to be met with a deep feeling of shame. He was so weak, he thought, for reacting so strongly to just the one question. It occurred to him, though, that the answer to that question was only known by the state workers who dealt with it, and Leo never stopped to process it. He acted like it didn’t happen. He could tell anything else. _That_ was the part he couldn’t tell. 

“Sorry,” He sucked in a breath. “Sorry, uh,” For another moment, Leo blanked. “Not right now. Not- I- Not something I wanna talk about right now. Sorry,” He answered shortly to that. His choice to not answer that one wasn’t questioned. He figured Nico could take a hint at the severity of his reaction. “It’s okay, amore, I understand. You don’t have to tell me about that one right now. Do you wanna come back to this an-”   
“No. I mean, the thing with that house… maybe another time. Definitely. The other ones, though, that’s fine. Hold on,” Leo got up from the couch. There was a moment of silence as he grabbed a box from a shelf near his desk and brought it back to the couch. He sank back down against Nico and popped it open.   
“Here, I think this might be useful,” He mumbled with a weak chuckle as he took the glass pipe from inside and filled it with his stash of pot. It was something that he personally used to calm down- it worked better than most pills did. He’d gotten Nico in on it too- between him, Piper and Nico, the Dionysus and Demeter cabins definitely had someone to grow for. Leo used his finger to light up and take a hit. 

The effect wasn’t instant, but he did feel himself calm down slowly as Nico took one of his own. He kept the pipe in his hand after Nico handed it back to him, but sat the box he kept it in on the floor. An arm wrapped lazily around his waist, and Leo took another hit before talking again. 

“The other homes were pretty normal-bad. People who yelled at me a lot or didn’t really care. Got sent to a meth head once. That wasn’t super fun. He was racist too. There were a few, though. Like the last one before I was sent to the fuckin’ Wilderness bullshit. Theresa. She beat me pretty bad.” At this point, the main freakout was done, and Leo’s voice took a worn out tone. Or maybe it was just the weed. Who knows. “Two of the other ones also did, but Theresa was the worst.” He broke from the partial cuddling to push his sleeve up and reveal his shoulder, where a main scar and several over smaller ones littered the area. “That’s from her. That’s the only actual scar I have from any of it.” 

When he looked up at Nico again, he saw a tear running down his cheek. Nico wasn’t much of a crier, so Leo immediately frowned at the sight. “I’m sorry.” He apologized. “Not sure if you needed to know all that. I- I didn’t mean to upset you- shit,”   
Nico shook his head. “No, no, no,” He interrupted. “I’m glad you told me. I want you to tell me these things. I just…” His hand reached up to the scars and traced them. Leo shivered at the cold touch to the sensitive area. “Didn’t expect it to be so bad. I hate the thought of bad shit like that happening to you, Leo. I want to put everyone who put you through that shit in the darkest pits of Tartarus. Not even just the Fields of Punishment. They’re monsters and they deserve to go down with the other ones.” The last sentence came out almost like a growl. Nico grabbed the pipe and took another hit. As he exhaled smoke, he relaxed a little bit, and wrapped both of his arms around Leo, to which Leo responded by leaning into him.   
“Is that all?” Nico asked.   
“Not exactly. There’s just one other thing. And it’s like… the thing Piper probably actually wanted me to tell you about, since she’s been nagging me to tell you for the past few months.”   
Nico let out something that was almost a snicker. “So you stalled by telling me a lot of other bad things for an ultimate bad thing?”   
That made Leo snort a little bit. “Yeah. But I mean, I think it probably is less weird and makes more sense with the backstory. Piper said all of that is probably why I do it.” At that, Nico raised an eyebrow. “Go on, then.” He prompted.   
Well, Nico still didn’t seem phased by all the other things Leo had told him. Maybe Piper was right. Maybe Nico really would be fine with it. Or maybe not, and maybe this would go completely downhill, or- well, it didn’t matter, now. Leo had cornered himself with this, this time. He didn’t really have another option other than to spill about it, which seemed a lot less daunting. Again, being stoned probably had something to do with it. 

“I age regress,” He figured he should just say it and get it over with. “But you don’t have to deal with it, you don’t need to be around when I do it, and I’ve done it for years but only Piper and Jason know. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to weird you out or anything and if this puts a strain on our relationship or something then I’m sorry-” The pyrokinetic rambled on, cutting himself short as he braced himself for the response.   
“Uhh, mind telling me what that means?” Nico had his dark eyebrows knit together. To Leo’s surprise, there was no look of disgust, discomfort or anger. As far as he could tell, at least.   
Leo curled up a little tighter and hid his face as he explained.   
“I feel like a kid again sometimes. I mean, if you want the short answer. Generally to deal with stress or being overwhelmed or scared or sad- I dunno, I just do it and I don’t really like admitting that I do it or… the fact that I do, I guess, but…”

Nico appeared to process this for a moment before understanding. “I mean, I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little weird-” Leo tensed, but Nico rubbed his arm to soothe him quickly. “But, does it make you happy do it?”   
Hesitantly, almost shyly, Leo nodded.   
“Then I’m not bothered. It doesn’t sound like something that hurts you or anyone else, and I could see how that would help you and stuff- I think I get it. I’ve heard of people doing things a lot weirder. Percy told me some people have elaborate fetishes for being kidnapped and actually have people act it out with them, so you know what, I think you liking to be a kid sometimes is pretty tame compared to the other weird shit some people do.”   
“I really don’t want to know why people sexually fantasize about being kidnapped.” He couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh. “I mean, my thing isn’t sexual, because kids aren’t sexy, but like… yeah, there are people who do weirder things.”  
“Oh, no, I didn’t think it was a sexual thing, but you’re still lucky I didn’t feel compelled to joke about your daddy kink.”  
Leo felt his face heat up, and he playfully nudged his chuckling boyfriend in the ribs. “Okay, shut up, jackass.”   
“I don’t think that’s the right title.”  
Both boys laughed it out, until Nico got them back on topic. “Do you have stuff you use when you do that?” He asked, to which Leo nodded. “Yeah, I can show you if you want. I keep it right over here, actually.” Leo managed to pry himself away from the Ghost King’s grasp, and get up to pull a decently sized both from behind the little table next to the futon. The contents, of course, were the things he used when he regressed. Nico peered in it.   
“Do you have a specific age? Is that even how that works? I don’t know anything about this. Sorry.”  
“Don’t be sorry.” Leo said as he pulled out the four stuffed animals on top, revealing the blankets and coloring books and whatnot underneath, neatly placed, since Jason had been the last to help him clean it up. “But no, I don’t really have a specific age. I just kinda do whatever makes me comfortable, if that makes sense?” He explained. Nico nodded, and glanced at the quartet of stuffed animals.   
“...Do they have names?”   
“Mhm.” Leo smiled a little. “The seal is Zinc, the penguin is Silver, the dragon is Bronze and the lizard is Copper.”   
“So you named all of them after metals? Nerd.” 

“I should put this stuff back before I get into it.” He said as he started to put the the stuffed toys back. “So is it somethings that’s triggered by things or something that just happens? Or can you do it whenever you want?” Nico continued to ask. “All three?” Leo answered. “Sometimes it’s triggered by things, sometimes it just happens, and yeah, I can kinda do it whenever I want to.” He shrugged. It was tempting to do it right now, after all that emotional madness, and Nico seemed to think so too.   
“Would it help to do it right now?” He asked, with a moment’s hesitation. “I- I do pretty good with the kids when I have to help them train or something. I don’t mind, if it’ll help you recover from that heavy talk. Plus, I want to be able to help with it…” 

A little taken aback, especially at how it almost sounded like Nico _wanted_ him to do it now, he glanced at the box again. “I mean… if you’re sure-”  
“I’m positive.” 

That answer encouraged Leo to pull the stuffed animals back out and set them between him and Nico. He hummed as he looked over all the other things in the box, chewing idly on his stim toy as he did so. “Do you… maybe have something else to chew on?” Nico asked, and it took Leo a second to get what he was referring to. His cheeks heated up a little bit as he rummaged around for his orange pacifier. “I have this one and a red one.” He said as he exchanged the chewy pendant for his pacifier. He had to take all the contents out to get to the blanket at the bottom, but it was worth it to feel the soft fabric. He wrapped it over his shoulders, but then looked over at Nico and threw it over his too. He hoped acting casually about it would help Nico be more comfortable too, and that seemed to be the case, as his boyfriend did seem to feintly smile. 

“Dunno what I wanna do.” Leo mumbled, pouting at all the things he’d laid out. Nico gazed over them too, and eventually pointed at a box of Legos. “How about that?” He asked. Leo considered this for a moment, but decided that it took a little too much mental energy, and he was running low on that right now. He shook his head, and instead reached for a box of gummy fruit snacks. He shot Nico a questioning look, waiting for permission to take one like he did when it was Piper or Jason.   
“Uhh, go for it,” Nico said once he caught on. “Only one, though.” Leo figured he was testing the waters with being in authority here, in an innocent situation. (Nico certainly had no problem being in charge in… other situations. Seeing him trying to figure it out this time was almost amusing.) Regardless, Leo responded well, deciding to not push it this time. He took one pouch from the box and handed another to Nico. 

Minutes later, a movie had been chosen and set up. That seemed like a good thing to do for now. As the intro to How To Train Your Dragon rolled, Leo got comfortable against Nico’s chest, the blanket over the both of them, and the stuffed animals comfortably being cuddled into as well. Leo made a happy little noise as a hand made its way to play in his hair.   
“I’ve never seen this before. You like dragons, huh?” Nico quipped, glancing between the screen and Leo. “Uh huh, now shhh- you gotta watch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY! I got some notes down here too lmao. First of all, whoever gets the musical reference in the title is Woke.   
> Second of all: PLEASE leave suggestions for chapters in the comments!! I'm not really sure where to take this fic so like?? If there's something specific you want to see then please please please comment it!! 
> 
> Again, sorry for being gone for so long!


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